it's _______ friday
Those were Christmas bells. In case it wasn’t obvious.
Yes, it’s only just turned December and already there are
Christmas trees, lights, parties EVERYWHERE. Although, to
be honest, most of them were there for most of November too.
Anyway. Christmas is definitely heading our way and so we’ve
put our best, Special Christmas Hats on and come up with an
It’s A Friday Advent Calendar. YEY!
Now, before you get too excited, a few word of warning:
1) You can only open the current day and any previous days.
No skipping to the end and eating the special, big chocolate
from the end and then shutting the door again and pretending
it was the dog.
2) Even if we had allowed you to click all the links you
would have been disappointed because we haven’t finished all
the other days yet.
3) Given that we sometimes struggle to get a weekly email
sent out (either or time or at all) and that when we do the
content is sometimes not as coherent, interesting or
intelligible as we might like… let’s not be getting our hopes
up too much about the daily updates we’ve committed to here.
Basically we’ve probably bitten off more of the winkie-lolly
than we can gobble down properly.
Anyway, here it is, the It’s A Friday Advent Calendar: http://tinyurl.com/cd9g3
Remember to keep coming back to open each new door. We’ll
do our best to update it every day.
PS – Here at It’s A Friday HQ we’re in the process of
building a new website so sorry there are adverts at the top
of the advent calendar. We’re doing our best to get rid of
Do you know what?
Some things are weird. That’s what!
Like, right, how come black holes are really heavy, and light
is really… well, light. And while we’re on the subject: atoms
are so small, what’s the point of making a bomb out of them?
Surely it would be more sensible to make bombs out of whales.
And space…it’s big, but how big is big – and more importantly
why does anyone care?
Well. Worry not. It’s A Friday is here to answer all these
questions for you and many more. It’s simple. Basically, it’s
all physics isn’t it. And that’s why today is Physics Friday.
So, here’s the plan:
1. Make friends with a physicist such as this man:
2. Have a drink of Pepsi or some other phys-ie drink (see what
we’ve done there…)
3. Show someone a photo of Uranus.
4. Demonstrate quantum chaos during atom ionisation. If you
need any help then go here:
5. Invent a type of car that is powered by carbon-dioxide. It
seems a pretty simple pollution solution. Come on, it can’t
be THAT hard!
6. Explain volts and amps and stuff to somebody thick.
Remember: electricity in wires is just like water in pipes.
But drier. NB – be sure to explain to the thickie that you
can’t actually “drink” electricity.
And finally please be sure to talk (all day) like the famous
physicist Stephen Hawking. His computerised voice is brilliant.
However we do think using a computer to talk for you rather
than doing it yourself is a bit lazy. If things carry on like
this people will soon be wanting to move around in special
chairs with wheels rather than walk.
Anyway - that should be enough to keep you going. Obviously
you can come up with your own extra ways to participate if
you want. We’d love to hear about it. Just teleport yourself
into our nano-box along a fat vector and tell us all about it.
Stand Up Friday
Are you sitting comfortably?
Well you shouldn’t be. We want everyone today to stand up.
Do it now. If you’re already standing up then sit down. And
then stand up. Do it twice.
The It’s A Friday team want to make a point: standing up is
good – especially if it’s for things.
For example you could stand up to a bully at work by tweaking
their nipples. You could stand up for the rights of the
homeless by drinking 12 cans of Special Brew, pouring urine
over yourself and babbling at passers-by. We would recommend
that you do this on the street, rather than at work.
Let’s all stand up for the minorities who can’t defend
themselves (you know the types: kids, refugees, gingers, the
Welsh etc) and help them. We’ve always found black boot
polish very effective for the gingers. Obviously that’s to
put in their hair, not to black up.
That’s it really. Nothing complicated. Just stand up for
something or someone. If you can’t be bothered to do that
then at least stand up on something or someone. Or you could
just go and have a good sit down and a poo.
i t h a n k y o u
Hello, and welcome to the best Friday email you could ever
Actually, no, we have to admit that this probably isn’t the
best Friday you could ever possibly imagine. That’s a total
fantasy on our part.
But, oooh, how extremely fortuitous... because today It’s
Now, in order to accommodate as many of you as possible,
there are a number ways that you can take part in Fantasy
Friday. So, just have a read through them all, pick one,
register your choice with us at firstname.lastname@example.org and
get on with it.
Check your fantasy football scores or, better still, make
up your own new games such as Fantasy Indoor Bowling, set
some rules, pick your players, check the scores on the web
and realise that you’re rubbish and need some substitutions
rather urgently. Or fantasy tennis, which is what half the
country does every summer when they pretend that Tim Henman
has ever been capable of winning anything worthwhile.
Pretend you’re a troll and run round with a special sword
chasing somebody else dressed in a purple cloak, a “crown”
of ivy and a staff made from one of those giant, wild
rhubarb things that you always seem to get near ponds in posh
gardens. Please note that you may want to avoid this option
as it WILL involve interwoven celtic designs at some point.
As a slightly less interesting but equally unappealing
equivalent to OPTION 2, sit round a table with some other
people, a 3 litre bottle of Lucozade, and some cornflake
cakes that someone’s mum made, and play some sort of
dice-rolling, spell casting board game for approximately nine
hundred and thirteen hours whilst occasionally using the word
“scrolls” and phrases like “but with your +12 skill attribute,
rolling a 9 might let you win my orc-dagger… and I really
like the green handle”.
A slightly more interesting option however is to buy the
entire series of the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon on DVD and
watch all 24 episodes back-to-back. Whilst the series was
good, it’s extraordinary how many episodes had the same plot
line (ie, get attacked by bad wizards/troll/spider-monster,
find a secret portal/fountain/bush through which the gang can
travel back to modern day earth, only to be thwarted when they
realise the baby unicorn has got itself caught by a (bad)
flying fish/hairless wolf meaning they need to travel back and
rescue it. Invariably the secret passage (leave it!) back
home has closed by the time they’ve saved their horny friend.
Sit in a dark room on your own and think about Matt in his
Right then. See you next week. Please enjoy your fantasy,
whatever type it is.
Energy Wasting Friday
The It’s A Friday team have deduced that we waste lots of things:
One thing we don’t waste a lot of is energy. For example we’ll go to the pub, whilst others will expend energy jogging round the park, or some will sit in a room and “work” for hours every day. Many would also label these people idiots. In fact the collective amount of energy wasted by some groups of girls on a night out could power a small hamlet (or a medium sized Macbeth) for a week. And that’s a fact.
This week, therefore, we’ve decided to join in with everyone else and waste as much energy as possible this Friday by whatever means seem fit.
We want you to join in too so here are some top energy wasting tips:
- Turning your heating up by 1C wastes an extra £30, so get on with it. After all, it is winter!
- Public transport is rubbish and smells of tramps and fat people. Buy a really big car and go everywhere in it. Especially really short journeys.
- Don’t wait until you have a full load to put in the washing machine, just wash when you feel like it. In fact, s0d it, why not wash each item separately.
- If you have an energy saving light bulb in your house, swap it for a traditional light bulb. This should waste about £7 a year all on its own.
- Go to a shopping centre and walk up a downward escalator.
- If you’ve got solar panels on your roof like we have at It’s A Friday HQ, get up onto the roof and cover them up with a thick blanket.
- Just removing the insulation from your loft could waste you up to £170. That’s got to be worth doing.
- Why not open your fridge and freezer doors to let them warm up a bit.
- TVs in the UK waste £88 million every year. Make sure you’re doing your bit to contribute to this by never turning yours off properly.
Of course following the above means the It’s a Friday team has no money to spend on booze or fags which immediately makes it a dreadful idea. However while the tips above are “bad” energy wasting there are some things that are “good” energy wasting.
As a handy reminder then: driving, flying and generally making a mess all over Iraq looking for banned weapons that aren't really there – that’s bad energy wasting; driving 1000 miles to look at some b00bs, however – that’s good energy wasting.
Anyway. Frankly we’ve run out of energy to write anymore. Suffice to say, please help us with this and let’s celebrate wasting energy together!