it's _______ friday
It was all a JOKE!
Ha ha - Fooled you!...ner, ner, ner...You're rubbish!
As if we'd stop the It’s A Friday emails. No, luckily for you we're going to continue producing It’s A Friday emails until we have quite literally run out of all the words in the world. As you’ll be aware a pocket dictionary contains a lot of words; a real dictionary (apparently) contains even more. Basically these emails will never, ever end. Seriously, they won't. Honestly - we enjoy laughing at our own jokes far, far too much.
To celebrate the revival of the Friday email (not that it ever went away), Al has designed a brand new website. It is brilliant - and has lots of flashy things to click on. It also has an integrated multi-media video centre, conferencing facilities, and a pair of electronic furry dice. Check it out (www.itsafriday.com). It's great.*
In order to celebrate Practical Joke Friday you should play as many practical jokes on each other as possible (I always find the “cling-film over the toilet jape” hilarious although it can depend on what angle you’re watching from). Also let’s treat this like a proper, good old, sod everything Friday: take a two hour lunch, send ridiculous emails (erm…), get tanked, sing karaoke, perhaps even fall asleep on a nightbus. Tomorrow is Saturday - a day of rest and CDUK. Hurray for Saturday. It totally doesn’t matter if you wake up with a mouth like an old man's pocket, beer sweats, a can of Stella as a surrogate teddy and breath that terrorists would love to release in a confined space. NB - Under no circumstances tell your boss that Matt and Al told you to take two hours for lunch. We didn't.
Oh – and to celebrate Practical Joke Friday we will be deploying the use of Whoopee cushions during meetings, letting off stink bombs in the work kitchen and leaving a carefully wrapped parcel (with wires hanging out of it) in Victoria Station**
i t h a n k y o u
* Okay. That was a lie. It hasn’t been done at all. It’s in progress though!
** For any special Government departments tracking this email, please note that this is a ‘double’ joke. We won’t be leaving any deposits in Victoria station. Well, not unless we get a bad case of the bum-wees. And 20p to get in. That’s ridiculous. I remember when it used to be 2p to pee.
The Final Countdown
"And now the end is near, and so I face the final curtain....."
Yes - we are sorry to inform you that this is the last It’s A Friday email...EVER!
The It’s A Friday team, whilst being literary geniuses (geniui?) have finally run out of ideas. We are a spent force - so to speak. The creative juices are no longer flowing through us onto the screen. It is time to let a lame donkey die (or at least call Rolf Harris). You get the idea.
The It’s A Friday emails first spurted into life one year ago. In the early days they were really, really rubbish; now they’re just a bit rubbish. Who can forget (or is that remember?) Flaps Friday, or Flip 'em Over Friday? They were crass and full of rude references. A year later the stark realisation that nothing has changed has hit us like a big pooh-stick in the happy sacs. We've tried to change our style and better ourselves by using long words like "boobies" but to little avail. We just can't cut it anymore. We've lost it. It’s not down the back of the sofa.
So what does the future hold for us? Well, Al has decided to give up all mortal pleasures (beer and going to Hull) and become a flagellate vegetarian monk. Matt has gone back into Academia: he is now studying the practical effects of onerism and to prove his commitment has volunteered to undertake some of (let’s be honest, ALL of) the research himself.
Remember this is the last Friday email ever, so feel free to let us know how it’s been and what you’ve enjoyed. Under no circumstances will we be writing any more Friday emails. That's a promise. It’s not a joke. It’s real… and we definitely wouldn't lie to our readership would we!
t h e _ e n d
PS – If you feel the need to do something silly this weekend, don’t forget that Sunday is International Talk Like a Pirate Day:
http://www.thomasscott.net/yarr/
Rap Friday
Yo mummy-bonkers. Hello
Get with us. It's Rap Friday innit.
Check out, like, our kickin' live performance (
sorry - we're still looking for a way to host this!). If you can do better with these lyrics then let us have it - LARGE.
It’s a Friday Rap!
Wooooooaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
Now let’s get down, yeah, ‘cos it’s a Friday!
Sending out emails, smelling like an ashtray.
Comin’ right at you like “a retarded”.
Hey, what’s that noise? Has somebody f^rted?
Sometimes sharp and sometimes sh^t,
Working really hard to get on your t^ts.
Sometimes well argued, often just rants.
We use clever words like p^o and p^nts.
To me, to you, we all proclaim.
We insult each other but never defame.
A couple of tw^ts, that’s who we are,
We can often be found propping up the bar.
It’s a Friday! It’s a Friday!
It isn’t.
It is.
It’s Friday.
Whe-hey!
So what special Friday is it today?
Come and have a guess, or are you gay?
This Friday is a rap - well so we claim.
But the rap’s a bit cr^p and rather tame.
Let’s make some references that are lewd.
Here we go then, it’s the time get rude:
C^ck, b^m, we^, f^nny, a^se and br^asts.
Oh, that's naughty - you protest.
But you are wrong, and must feel silly,
To take offence at a little bit of w^lly.
So sing along, come on, take a punt.
Otherwise you’re just a stupid IDIOT.
It’s a Friday! It’s a Friday!
It isn’t.
It is.
It’s Friday.
Whe-hey!
i t h a n k y o u
(but you probably don't thank us)
Double Trouble
Hello. Hello.
How are you? How are you?
We're okay but slightly frustrated. Most of won't have received last week's It's A Friday email. We've been having technical problems with our mail facilities. HOPEFULLY you'll all get this one. Let us know if you don't.
Anyway, what with us having actually written a mail last week we thought it would be silly to waste it so this week you get two Fridays: Carry On Friday and Seeing Double Friday.
Carry On Friday (from last week) is below. As for Seeing Double Friday, we suggest simply visiting the pub and purchasing 2 bottles of Carlsberg Special Brew followed by 6 shots of Tequila and then trying to read this email in a small font.
i t h a n k y o u....
i t h a n k y o u....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ItsAFriday.com
Sent: 27 August 2004 16:42
Subject: Carry On Up The Friday
Hello Matron!
The It's A Friday team, as you are now only too aware, come into your inbox once a week. Oh - behave! When we write our emails we are well aware need to be considerate and careful. Therefore, today, after rising at the crack of dawn (what we were both doing down there you might well ask) we got straight into it. Cheeky! We'll often bounce around several different ideas, although if one of us has a point to defend we're quite capable of holding our own. This happens often. There'll also often be occasions where we both make it hard for each other....to understand our respective points of view. That's what Doctor Hiscock says anyway.
Another key issue with the It's A Friday email is ensuring our equipment performs properly. (I'd like to give that equipment a servicing). Only too often we've fired off far too quickly and all over the wrong people; or worse still, got it stuck in our outbox. Once or twice we've popped into someone's inbox without permission. This can be highly embarrassing and often results in a humble apology. "Sorry Mr Cribbins" we'll say, "We didn't mean to dirty your mail slot sir". Then we might have to do a slightly odd dance in skimpy underwear. And fall over a sheep.
But anyway, we digress. Today we celebrate a great, British institution: the Carry On film. Oh come on (leave it!) - they were hilarious. Boobies, Tony Hancock being depressed, more boobies, sexist jokes, Hattie Jakes' ENORMOUS boobies, naughty innuendo. You lap it up, you really do. We were going to suggest girls come into work with "special" bra's that fall off in an amusing fashion (like Barbara Windsor... when she was young. Not now - that'd be awful) but were advised against it by our gonads.
The It's A Friday team have assigned themselves special names for the day. Matt is to be called Ivor Biggin (It isn't!), and Al - Akin Kok. We won't respond to any other name. That's a promise. Oh I say.
If you want a temporary new name then just ask.... wait for it..... We'll definitely GIVE YOU ONE! Haa haa haaa haaaaa.
i t h a n k y o u
