it's _______ friday
It's a beau-TEA-ful day!
Actually it’s not; it’s a bit rubbish isn’t it. Not at all summery but not really worth complaining about either. Not sunny; not raining; not windy. It’s just non-weather. Those conditions that just aren’t worth even mentioning. Anti-weather.
But don’t worry… (see you can start a sentence with “but” and it doesn’t have to be followed by “for” or “tocks”). Here at It’s a Friday we know how to make things better. In fact I’ve already done it. I had one earlier. Just one cup of tea makes the world much better.
Yes. Today is Fancy A Brew? Friday!
We want to see everybody making an effort and asking the people around them if they fancy a cup. Of tea. Bum to coffee. Winkies to fruit tea infusions. A good cup “builders slosh” is what you want. Sugar is optional. None of your dodgy Witches brews. Nothing green.
Fact of the day: after AIR and WATER, TEA is the most consumed substance in the world.
Right then. Who wants one? Milk and one sugar for me… or a pint if you’re offering?
The Nation of Friday
...And George did go to the dragon and did slay it with his sword. The people celebrated and George had sex. With a lady, not the dragon.
ANYWAY. Today is St George's Day but, of course, for us it's not. Vague awareness of our nation is not enough. We shall go further than simple patriotism... so for us lot today is Jingoistic Friday.
Now we don't have to go to the lengths of Richard Desmond (http://media.guardian.co.uk/site/story/0,14173,1201516,00.html) and anyone caught actually, physically waving a flag should be shot (twice) however a bit of healthy xenophobia is always fun. Boo to the Inuits etc. Or, for a traditional approach there must be a dragon you can slay - I refuse to believe that there's not somebody in every office in the country who could be referred to as a "Dragon" and everybody would know who you mean.
But who was St George anyway? I bet he was rubbish really and just pretended to slay a dragon. Where's the evidence. He wasn't even English. He was from somewhere down Turkey way and the date (23rd April, obviously) comes from Estonia.
In fact, let's ditch St George and start a It's ______ Friday campaign to get a better saint and national day. How about St Winkie? Or let's steal Sweden's bloke and have St Eric (http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=3168). Why not go all out for it and just have St Donald The Fish-gutter (who may or may not exist).
All suggestions for an alternative It's A Friday National Day will be gratefully received and may form the basis of a future commemorative Friday.
Anyone for St Chuckle's Day?
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Start Again Friday?
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, and he saw that it was good. It was from Ikea and looked, you know, a bit modern.
Anyway, the point is that it's not The Beginning anymore. It's well after The Beginning. I'm not suggesting that we're near The End but we're certainly past the first service station.
It's also a sunny day and probably time for a bit of a spring clean. And, of course, this is the first Friday email from the shiny new email address. (Hello to the new members by the way). Thus, we thought "What the hell. Let's make a fresh start; a new beginning. Let's have (Turning Over A) New Leaf Friday!" And here it is.
The principal is simple enough. Just start it all again. Everything. And do it all better. Be nicer. Do less bad, unless you want to be bad in which case be good-er at it. I know it sounds hard, impossible maybe, but it isn't. You won't be alone. We'll all support each other. You can do it. We can do it.
We also thought "I know, let's go out into the park and take a photo of us turning leaves over because that'll be really funny and girls will want to show us their boobs". But we couldn't be bothered so, instead, and in order to get us all going and show solidarity, please print out the attachment and get somebody to take a photo of you turning it over. Go on. Now, before it rains and becomes winter again.
And that's that. The end. Or is it? No. It's not. It's the new beginning. That's the whole point isn't it. Oh come on.
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PS - Probably better not to actually turn it over the printed attachement because it will only be printed on one side unless you're really clever.
PPS - Any comments, suggestions, ideas for future Fridays and offers of money are welcome. Just email us.
Jesus ISN'T Dead Sunday
There was an error. It appears that reports of Jesus' death have been greatly exaggerated.
Jesus is Dead Friday
Welcome back. The time is just after half past four.
News just in: Jesus died today. Reports so far, including one from the crazy woman with the megaphone outside Tooting Broadway Tube suggest that Jesus was nailed to a wooden cross - talk about symbolic. It is not yet clear what will happen to the body now as there has been some difficulty in contacting both of his parents.
And finally, Liverpool were defeated by Arsenal today by four goals to two, despite taking the lead twice to begin with. Michael Owen is said to have be "locked in his room eating Shreddies" until their second match this bank holiday weekend.
That's the news and sport. Now, Weaselers Question Time.
TLH Friday
Hello. Hi. How's things?
Well it's late. It's Friday. It's almost time to go to the pub. Thus, I will be brief. There's little time. Certainly not enough to read A Brief History of Time... therefore today is Talkin' Like Hawkin' Friday.
Unfortunately I think there may have been a bit of a mis-understanding....
Hear My Voice
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