Bad Bastard Friday
I'm sure you are all very much aware that today is Friday and so the question "What Friday is it?" must be quite literally gagging to get out of your mouths... like some kind of crazy alien disguised as your tongue.
Well, I can now officially put your collective minds at rest and announce that today is Bad Bastard (or Bitch) Friday. BB Friday for your convenience. Rather obviously this will involve doing the Bad Bastard Dance which some of you perfected in Langley's last week. In case you're not aware then the following diagram should help:
In a stunning show of "maturity" we ruled out Fasting Friday (ie, no food) and Pernod Friday (it's horrible stuff) and Boobs Friday (actually quite a good idea). Sarong Friday was considered.
The exact rules are still being finalised but it is envisaged that a Bad Bastard should be performed every 10 minutes by all participants. There may also be Random Bastards whereby participants may be phoned up and asked to perform an Impromptu Bastard where ever they are.
FUK (Frequently Unasked Kwestions)
Q. Is it Friday?
Q. Why Bad Bastard Friday?
A. Would you really rather we'd had No Toilet Friday (genuine suggestion from Mr James Beale)?
Q. What about flaps?
Q. How much time have you wasted writing this email?
A. About 10 minutes (+ another 10 do make the diagram).
Q. Haven't you got quite a lot of work that needs doing before 4pm today.
A. Oh shit. Yeah.
i t h a n k y o u
After the incredible success of Flaps Friday last week (which saw Tamsin utter the sentence "I don't have any flaps") it was decided that this Friday should once again be something that it is easy to participate in so that we can all enjoy the fun.
Today therefore, somewhat bizarrely, is Limp Friday. Don't ask why. There is no reason. It just is. You can participate in whatever fashion you desire. Limp wrist, walking with a limp, of just telling everybody exactly why Limp Bizkit are so crap (they really, really are).
So there you go. I personally will be taking part by not having an erection all day.
Please note the following:
- Yes, I know that Limp Friday doesn't alliterate or rhyme.
- Yes, eating Limpets could count.
- No, eating a more general fishy dish wouldn't count.
- Yes, Limp Bizkit really are an incredibly poor band.
- No, I don't care if I've spelt Limp Bizkit incorrectly.
- Yes, apparently the spiney ant-eater has a four-headed penis.
- Yes, there is a joke somewhere about four-skins but I can't think exactly what it is.
- Yes. That is enough and I'll stop now.
i t h a n k y o u