it's _______ friday
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You may have noticed that today is Friday. Unfortunately we didn't.
Half of the editorial team (not me) has been away all week and both of them were "steaming drunk" last night after a group decision to massively celebrate England winning the football just in case we don't get another opportunity.
This friday, therefore, is Forgotten Friday. Enjoy!
It's A Friday (still drunk)
Michael Owen...... still Michael Owen... still Michael Owen..... Oh! He's scored a WONDERFUL goal!
It's finally here. Euro 2004 football championship kicks off tomorrow and England play France on Sunday night. Obviously drinking is required to stem the nerves and, if you can get hold of one, it's always nice to have German around to abuse in a hilariously xenophobic manner.
It doesn't matter whether you actually enjoy watching football. You have to anyway... everybody else is watching it. There's quite literally nothing else to do.
Of course there are certain rules to be observed:
1) DO NOT take your shirt off if England score. It doesn't what the circumstances - you will still look like a nobber.
2) DO eat something massive and solid before the game commences (or during). You need to slow down the flow of liquid through your body so that you can delay that first trip to the toilet.
3) DO go to the toilet if we're losing because being in the bog almost gaurantees a goal will be scored.
4) ALWAYS support a substitution if it involves a Neville leaving the pitch (unless it means the other one is coming onto the pitch).
5) Watch BBC where possible.
Now. Here at It's A Friday we know that this Friday is a little bit single minded so, just to even things out a bit (equality is so important)... Girls: this week it's Cooking Friday. [runs and hides... somewhere secret]
i t h a n k y o u
How you doin'?
Can you remember playing Kiss Chase (or the more advanced Knicker Chase) in Primary School? I can't. The girls only liked Neil Johnson and James Tillock so they wouldn't go near me.
In many ways those playground games were an early form of flirting… without words. And with more running. And more crisps. If only life were like that now. It isn't - you have to speak to people and smile a lot in order to even vaguely attract members of the opposite sex. (We’ve tried & tested the “sit-in-the-corner-looking-miserable-and-keep-staring-over-at-object-of-affection-until-they-notice” technique and it doesn’t work).
Do not, however, panic! Here at It’s A Friday we have devised a system to help each and every one of you in the mysterious world of flirtage. After all: with our charisma we should easily be able to help you find your ideal woman/man, or both. (Matt – do you mean a man and a woman, or do you mean a hermaphrodite?)
To help everybody familiarize themselves with the process a bit more today will be Flirting Friday. Below is a selection of lines for you to try out on those who you’d like to be “special friends” with. You must use at least one of these today or you’re a bottom-face.
- Do you have mirrors in your pockets? Because I can see myself in your pants.
- I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
- I feel like Richard Gere because I'm standing next to the Pretty Woman*
- Your face or mine?
- Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
- No, I’ve never heard of It’s A Friday or BBDancing.com. Come back…
Feel free to come up with some others. Go on, take the risk. After all, what's the worst that could happen? Apart from getting sacked for sexual harassment. Hurray!
Flirt away. We will be, and why not?
If you have any success please email and tell us. (Full description required. Photos optional)
i t h a n k y o u
* Or alternatively “I feel like Richard Gere because I’m ugly, have a massive nose and can’t act.”